Proposed NFL Rule Changes

Dear Roger Goodell,

Over the past few seasons (actually, over the past season as I have only been alive and, only marginally aware at that, for the 2007 edition) there have been a number of issues regarding on-field play that have been of concern to me (or, more specifically, to my father who, occasionally, uses my blog as a forum in which to air his grievances). I have been dismayed with some of the antics of NFL players over the past season. There are two areas, discussed below, that have been of particular concern to me. Thus, in the interest of making the game more appealing to me, the viewer, and for the good of the league in general, please consider the rules changes proposed below. You may notice that quite a few of these changes involve the enforcement of penalties. I, and others, believe that the only way to correct such grave problems with the NFL is to inflict harsh penalties on the field that will discourage such future behaviors amongst players.

Problem: Defenders picking up the ball and running towards the end zone as though having recovered a fumble when the play has obviously been ruled dead or when there is no chance in hell that the pass was actually caught

This has become more and more typical in any NFL game. Often, there will be multiple occurrences of this in a single contest. A defensive player will pick up a ball that has lay on the field for multiple seconds after the whistle has blown and will proceed towards the end zone with said ball while looking backwards as if to say, "It's a fumble right? No, I know it isn't. Is it?" This behavior is utter horse poop.

Solution: 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty

Problem: Receivers, and sometimes defensive backs, urging officials to call a pass interference penalty by miming the motion of drawing a flag from the waistband and throwing it.

This happens literally (I've counted) after every incomplete pass. You might not think it happens every time but that is exactly the evidence you need to know that it happens every time. It happens so often you don't even notice it! This has got to stop. Let the officials do their jobs. Or, let them screw up their jobs. 

Solution: 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty AND loss of down.

I'm sure that after due consideration you will find that these rules changes will make the NFL as a product better than it already is.

Sincerely (and "you're welcome"!),

The Full Contact Ombudsman