What’s up crackerjacks? I’m very excited to be posting alongside my nephew or D-money as we call that little piece of calamari out here on the west coast. I appreciate the warm welcome and D’s promise that we would break into his fathers bourbon stash (for a baby he has great taste) next time I am back in the central Mass. Let me just pop open a new brew, turn on the celts and we can get this show on the road.
So I just got the NBA ticket as a valentine’s Day gift from my lady friend.... by the way ladies, always a good gift... and it is great because not only can I watch any NBA game I would like but when watching the Celtics, I always get the home team feed.. It is amazing!!! The local commercials are priceless. Right now my 2 favorite on the Portland feed are the Joe’s sporting goods store... think Dick’s but on a lower budget... and some weird Casino (Spirit Mountain Casino... It was just on again... better the 2nd time) which takes a page out of Foxwoods book with a catchy little jingle but half the class.
On a side note: Saw a commercial for the WWF. Not the Wrestling. The World Wildlife Federation. Sharon Lawrence was trying to get me to give some money to save the polar bears. Really? You want me to save polar bears? Why? If they die off what is the worst that happens? I don’t have an excuse not to go Canada anymore?!? Ask me for money when chickens are dying off. At least they are delicious.
Now the Portland programming is great but nothing can compete with the Denver feed.
Why? The hilarious commercials, Matty?
Wrong reader.
It’s the announcing crew of Chris "I stole my name from Shakespear’s nemesis" Marlow and, the man that has changed my life forever, Scott Hastings. Lets just start off by saying they are not well informed and I am petty sure Marlow has never watched an Eastern Conference team play. Now, I could talk about them all night but I only have a half a bottle of Jamison left and will need to hit the LQ before the night is out. So my focus will be on favorite quote from Mr. Hastings when he was describing Paul Pierce being slow footed.
"He moves like a water buffalo through the rice patties..."
WHAT??? That should not be used to describe anything... unless of course you describing a water buffalo moving through rice patties. Is he from southeastern Asia??? Was he in Nam??? And I loved how he said THE rice patties. As if there is only one group of patties and you know exactly the ones he is speaking of. Also it implies that a water buffalo moves slower through THE rice patties than other animals. Would a pig make better work of it? How about a tiger? A polar bear? (Although I don’t think that will help their numbers) How about you Scott Hastings??? I would love to see Hastings struggling through the waste high water while Chris Marlow gives inaccurate play-by-play.
Okay Chums, that’s my time. I will see you next Sunday when I will have some fresh ideas and a fresh six-pack.
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