I've been away...

But now I'm back.

Quick update on the D-Man:

1. Teeth have arrived. Two of them and, lemme tell ya, not a good time. Holy crap. I gotta go through all this just to have these bad Larry's fall out? The Toof Fairy best be payin' well this year, recession be damned, for all the pain and suffering I've been through.

2. Spent the weekend in NYC for the first time. A few observations:

A. Why all the noise? Why all the honking? What happened to peace and civility?

B. Fell asleep in a restaurant. I guess that's a pretty major accomplishment, given A.

C. I really do think that I was rollin' around in the cheapest stroller, by comparison, in NY.
Some of these contraptions, holy moly! Thousands of dollars for a glorified shopping cart. Lemme tell ya, unless that sumbiscuit is propelling itself, gimme the old Graco standby any day of the week.

3. Kicked it with my Maw Maw from the NO. Good times.

Alright, I'll hit ya'll up with some NFL Draft observations tomorrow. I'll give you one now though: you won't remember 80% of these guys in two years.

What the Fox?

Fox switched over from the Red Sox-Yankees, during the top of the 9th with two out while Papelbon was pitching, to some NASCAR race without informing its viewers. The game was on FX, unbeknownst to many. I've got a lot of problems with Fox (1. Joe Buck 2. Tim McCarver ["You're a real man Deion. A real man.] 3. Its obsession with showing fans during the game 4. The combination of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver 4. Planting stars of their shows in the stands of games as a way to promote said show while seeming to indicate that the presence of these people is completely coincidental and unintentional. 5. "Interviewing" the guy who played the TO-esque athlete in the Bud commercials a few years back, while the guy was in character!) but this is something else. Switching over is so 1970's. Does this even need to happen anymore when you actually have alternate networks? As a side note, do people even watch NASCAR on TV outside of the South? This isn't a crack, but a legit question. Isn't the NASCAR fad kind of dead. I mean, even rappers aren't wearing the jackets anymore.

Why My Father Is Insane: Part 1

He taped the Florida spring football game so that he could watch it while he was on the treadmill. No joke. From what I know, he actually watched it. The spring game. He taped it. Yep. Still got it saved. Wow.

NHL Playoff Preview/ Live Blog!

Bruins @ Canadiens (Game 1)

1. Now, you can call my anti-American if you want to, but here's the problem with America. The way we deal with our national anthem is pathetic compared to the way the Canadians do it. The folks above the border are singin' and yellin' and wavin' towels. Showing legitimate excitement. Try that at a friggin' game in the US during the anthem and some Civil War vet will try to rip your head off. Its called pride, people! Last time I checked, this is America!

2. Change the national anthem. Chuck it. I'm serious. Replace it with Neil Diamond's "America." You can't tell me that that won't get this nation hyped up to support pretty much anything. Such as...

3. Your #8 seed Boston Bruins who, less than three minutes into the game, are down 2-0. Wow.

Don't Quit Your Day Job. Or Any Other Job For That Matter.

The second baseman, number fifteen, Dustin Pedroia!

I Apologize.

For the delay. I set myself up with an agenda, so here it is.

1. Billy Packer: Play the NCAA Tournament Drinking Game. Every time that Packer says, "He got away with one" or otherwise mentions a foul that wasn't called, take a drink. You'll be bleep-faced before the first TV timeout.

2, The College Basketball Invitational: Or, the NIT for Losers. Or, the Everyone's a Winner Tournament, Yaaaaaaay! Or, the HDACATAAWMTPAVBTITCTWGTWA (Honestly, Does Anyone Care About This At All? Well Maybe The People At Virginia Because This Is The Closest They Will Get To Winning Anything.)

3. Myself: Feelin' better. Gettin' after it. Grip it and rip it, that's my motto.

Let's Just Say...

that I (and my father and my mother) have been a wee bit under the weather. I'm not gonna get specific, but let's just say that it rhymes with bomach slu.  I guarantee that I'll be back shortly with commentary on the following:

1. Billy Packer

2. The College Basketball Invitational

3. Myself.

Wait patiently.