I Am Officially Underwhelmed

I refused to get excited about field goals*. You know why? Because it means you couldn't score a touchdown.

Secondly, when did it become illegal in college football to deliberately take a loss of yardage to runo out the clock? It didn't. In two games today, teams with the lead had fourth and long with less than seven seconds left. Rather than run backwards to milk the clock, both teams ran plays into the defense. Fortunately both teams won. But here's the thing, why don't you just run backwards or at least zig zag? Why even risk a fumble and, even worse, why give the ball back?

* Unless, of course, said field goal is kicked from an absurdly long distance in order to win or tie a game as time expires.

I Hath Returned!

Just in time for college football, let me hit you with a few notable observations:

1. Frank Beamer is now officially fat.

2. Desmond Howard, a mere one day into the first full weekend of the season, dropped this nugget on the populace regarding Michigan: "the winningest college football in major history, program." 

The comma indicates an actual and noticeable pause, during which time it seemed that Desmond thought to himself, "Wait, this don't sound right. What will drive home my point about Michigan's storied football tradition, while at the same time rescuing me from utter ridicule? Ah, add the word program at the end. I should have said it after football, but if I just chuck it in at the end, no one will notice. In fact, there will be such a jumble of words in the listener's mind, that what he'll remember is, 'the winningest major college football program in history,' or ' in history program football the college major winningest.' Either way, I can't lose!"